Monday, April 13, 2015


I once had two back-to-back DWI trials, both with the same defense attorney.

In trial 1, I had stopped this ultra-rich SOB in his very high-end sports car at about 2AM. He had his attorney's personal phone number, and called him for advice about submitting to a breath test. The attorney advised him to do so and he failed. He took it to court anyway. Guilty.

In trial 2, I had stopped some woman at about 2AM, and she asked to speak with an attorney before submitting to a breath test. She didn't have any attorney's personal number, so as we always do, I provided her with a phone and a phone book, and she started calling numbers out of the yellow pages. Of course, she got no answer anywhere at that hour, and had to decide on her own whether to take the breath test. She did and failed. She took it to court anyway.

Attorney Darrow: "Officer Cynical, do you think it's reasonable to expect someone to be able to contact an attorney at that hour of the morning?"

Officer Cynical: "Well, your previous client didn't have any problem."

The judge, court clerk, and gallery busted out laughing, and the judge had to temporarily halt the proceedings, even turning off the audio recorder. The defense attorney went purple with rage. Once everyone had regained their composure, the defense attorney simply replied, "OK. No more questions"


1 comment:

Samantha Cernock said...

Well played. And well deserved.