Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Shut Your Stupid Face

Have you seen the commercial starring the idiot walking along the beach with his tweed jacket and beard stubble and new-fangled plastic electronic cigarette stuck in his face? He's what I assume is supposed to be a ruggedly handsome shill for a company selling a "nicotine delivery system". Kind of like a smokeless Marlboro Man. He actually just looks like a damned fool with that thing clamped in his teeth, with a blue light flashing on the end of it. At the end, he says something like "It's time to take our freedom back!" Your freedom to do what? Be a nicotine addict? I'm pretty sure that as long as you don't do it in a public building or blow it in somebody's face, you're free to smoke all the nicotine you want. Or you could just grow a pair and quit. Jackwagon.

Monday, November 24, 2014

MYOB

Please stop calling the police every time your upstairs neighbors argue. I realize it may be disconcerting, because it gets pretty loud and happens pretty often. But there's not the slightest indication anything physical is going on, they're in their own apartment, and it's not against the law to argue.

Also, please consider not calling us whenever someone with even a slightly different skin hue than yours walks past your house. They're not all criminals casing the neighborhood.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Illegal Immigration Kills

The following is reprinted from an article by Lt. Jim Glennon for the Street Survival Newsline, to which I subscribe, published by Calibre Press on 10/29/14. Years ago, I had the great pleasure of attending the Street Survival Seminar, which was then taught by Lt. Glennon and Dave ("Buck Savage") Smith - two of the best instructors I've ever seen. Lt. Glennon hits the nail on the head here, in my opinion. Note: I am in no way connected to any of the aforementioned entities.

Enough is Enough

By Calibre Press
Lt. Jim GlennonToo many officers have been killed by criminals in this country illegally
By Lt. Jim Glennon
“If it saved the life of only one child it is worth changing the law on ___.” (Insert agenda, law, policy, or cultural practice.)
I’ve heard this line used by people of every political persuasion pushing an agenda or belief system countless times over the years. It’s been used for: gun control, driving while using cell phones, wearing seatbelts, 20-oz. sodas, donuts, candy, cigarettes, beer, booze, light bulbs, insulation, windows, fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, smoke detectors, etc. Want to get attention? Talk about saving lives—especially the lives of kids—and if anyone disagrees with your stance, well then they obviously endorse the death of children.
It’s a good strategy because it works. It pumps up the masses and rouses the rabbles. But, not all agendas are driven by altruistic motives. There are often very real counter-consequences once these changes are implemented.
So if we really want to save lives—and, remember, just one is too many—what about the lives of police officers killed by people in the country illegally?
Last Friday, on Oct. 24, Sacramento County Sheriff's Deputy Danny Oliver, 47, was shot in the forehead with an assault rifle at close range as he approached a suspicious car in the parking lot of a motel. Deputy Oliver, a 15-year veteran of the department, leaves a grieving and devastated wife and two daughters.
A short while later, that same gunman then shot 38-year-old Anthony Holmes of Sacramento in the head during an attempted carjacking.
That gunman and his wife stole another vehicle and drove to Placer County, Calif. Two deputies approached the stolen pickup while it was parked on the side of a road and again the gunman opened up with his an AR-15.  Det. Michael David Davis Jr., 42, was killed, dying 26 years to the day that his father, a Riverside County deputy, was shot and killed in the line of duty. The other deputy, Jeff Davis (not related to Michael), was shot in the arm.
Who shot these people, murdering two and devastating families and communities? Luis Enrique Monroy-Bracamonte; though he was going by the name of Marcelo Marquez. Why lie about his name? Because Monroy-Bracamonte has illegally entered the United States multiple times. He was deported twice for committing crimes, once in 1997 and then again in 2001. 
Let’s look at just a few more.
Sgt. Brandon Mendoza, 32; Mesa, Ariz.; May 12, 2014: Struck head-on and killed by a DUI driver Raul Silva Corona. Corona was in the country illegally, had been convicted of several crimes, had no driver’s license, no social security number and was still able to buy a car.
Officer Rodney Johnson, 40; Houston, Texas; Sept. 21, 2006: Juan Leonardo Quintero, an illegal immigrant, was handcuffed in the back of Officer Johnson’s squad car when he accessed a hidden gun and shot Johnson in the back of the head four times. Quintero was previously deported after charges of indecency with a child, was convicted of capital murder and sentenced to life in prison. Johnson leaves behind his wife, three daughters and two sons.
Officer Kevin Will, 37; Houston, Texas; May 29, 2011: Officer Kevin Will was struck and killed by Johoan Rodriguez, 26, who had a blood-alcohol level of .238 and cocaine in his pocket. Rodriguez was previously deported, living in the U.S. illegally again when he killed Will. He was sentenced to 55 years in prison. Will’s wife was pregnant at the time of his death and they had two other children.
Officer Brian Jackson, 28; Dallas, Texas; Nov. 13, 2005: Shot and killed by an illegal alien. He is survived by a young wife, parents, and his sister.
Park Ranger Kristopher Eggle, 27; Organ Pipe National Monument, Ariz.; Aug. 9, 2002: Shot and killed with an AK-47 by an illegal alien and drug smuggler. He was survived by his parents and a sister.
We could go on and, unfortunately, on. Many argue that the border can’t be secured or that it is secured or that the status of the perpetrators is of no mater. To all I say: “Bunk.”
People cross the border for multiple reasons. Most, yes, for no other reason than to better their lives otherwise legally. But, people also come across because they know they can and the downside doesn’t really exist. They sneak across the border, they get caught, they get released. They make it over the border, commit a crime, they get arrested and again they get released. They’re told they need to show up for a court appearance, they don’t, no matter, they suffer no negative ramifications.
In other words, we allow this, and some say encourage it. Everyone talks about fences. How about just using common sense and enforcing the laws that already exist? How about eliminating the reason to breach our borders and punish anyone who entices or helps the illegal entries?
How about we discuss the victims? Really discuss the victims—not just the cops and their families but—but the people trafficked for sex, the slaves, the kidnapped, the overdoses, the addicts …
Four people shot, two cops dead, by people who know they can come to the United States illegally and with total impunity. Who do we see about this? All we have to do is look in the mirror. We, collectively, have allowed this to happen.
People will continue to die at the hands of these criminals. It’s impossible to totally stop the evil, but we don’t have to open the door for it.
Lt. Jim Glennon, a third generation LEO, retired from the Lombard, IL PD after 29 years of service.  Rising to the ranking of lieutenant, he commanded both patrol and the investigations unit.  Lt. Glennon is the first law enforcement officer to own Calibre Press in its nealy 35 year history.  He is the author of Arresting Communication: Essential Interaction Skills for Law Enforcement

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Talking in Concentric Circles

Officer Cynical: (responding to burglar alarm, finds drugged-out janitor sweeping up near one of those giant trash can on wheels): "Hi, I assume you're the cleaning lady?"

Ms. Tripp: "Yeah, what's the problem?"

Officer Cynical: "I guess a burglar alarm was set off."

Ms. Tripp: "No, I punched in the code as soon as I came in the door. The alarm went off after I punched in the code."

Officer Cynical: "Did you maybe punch in the wrong code?"

Ms. Tripp: "No way, I have it written down right here (shows me a number written on the back of her hand). I'm sure I punched in the right code."

Officer Cynical: "Well, then why did the alarm go off?"

Ms. Tripp: "I told you, it didn't go off. I punched in the code right away, and then it went off after that."

Officer Cynical: "So, the alarm did go off."

Ms. Tripp: "No! I punched in the code first. Then it went off."

Voice in Officer Cynical's Head (screaming): "Jesus Cheddar Cheese Christ on a cracker!!!"

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Clean-Up On Aisle 5

Today I was sent to a crappy downtown hotel to pick up a guy whose probation was being revoked. We could hear the TV going in his room, so we had a female officer use the old "Housekeeping!" announcement ploy to get him to come to the door.

He opened the door, and there was all 6'-4" and 300 intoxicated, doughlike pounds of him standing there stark frontally naked. As we were getting him dressed, I realized the room had recently been redecorated: about a thousand scraps of at least 3 large pizzas accented the dresser, a big pool of vomit tastefully adorned the bed, and a massive, artfully arranged turd had been deposited on the carpet in front of the TV.

When I remarked on what a freaking mess the room was, the guy replied, "Whatsa matter? You never had a bad night?" I said no, not THAT bad of a night. And then he wanted me to take the cuffs off so we could fight. I demurred, saying that window of opportunity was now gone.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Hit and Run Detection Kit

Sometimes, simple little offenses really get under my skin and piss me off enough that I go to great lengths to see that the responsible party gets his/her just dues.

A while back I took a hit-and-run accident report in a crappy part of town. It was obvious that the blue car parked all crazy behind the white victim car was the responsible vehicle. There was blue transfer paint on the victim car, the damage location on the victim car was consistent with damage on the blue car, and the blue car appeared to have been parked by a decidedly intoxicated person.

I contact the owner of the blue car by phone and set up a time to come talk to her in person. When I get there, she doesn't answer the door. Further phone conversations produce no results. She's always too busy or not home or whatever. So, one day I just show up at her apartment door. Her kid opens the door, but I can see her peeking around the corner from the doorway of another room.

I get her out in the hallway and begin questioning her about the accident. She admits she had been driving on the night in question, but denies she hit the other car. I then produce my homemade hit-and-run detection kit, which I had put together the night before.

The hit-and-run detection kit consisted of two clear plastic zip-lock bags, each with a Q-tip inside, and with a bunch of nonsense numbers and letters written on the outside. I hold up the bags in front of her and say:

"OK, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to take swabs of the blue paint on your car and the blue transfer paint on the other car. I'm going to send these swabs to the boys in the lab (I actually said "the boys in the lab"!). And if they come back as a match, which I believe they will, you're going to have way more problems than you're going to have if you just admit what happened."

Her response? "OK, I did it."

I wrote as many tickets as I could, and informed the owner of the victim car so she could get her damaged vehicle fixed.

I felt really good about that for a long time.

Monday, November 17, 2014

The Sky Is Falling

I get a call to see a woman about her missing son. According to the info on my computer screen, the son is 25 years old and had a fight with mom, then left in his car.  Dispatch tells me over the radio that "she's very distraught", which can usually be translated as "nuts".

As I pull up to the apartment building, she comes running up to my squad car. She gets right in my face and starts yelling.

Mrs. Benzo: "Who's looking for my son!? I wanna know what you're doing to find my son!"

Officer Cynical: "Um, I just got here, so I'm not doing anything yet. Tell me what's going on."

Mrs. Benzo: (look of utter shock) "You're not doing anything?! You have no idea how serious this is! This is really bad! Why aren't you doing something!?"

Officer Cynical: "Before I can do anything, I need to know what happened and who I'm looking for and why. Can you stop screaming at me long enough to tell me that?"

Mrs. Benzo explains that the previous night her 25-year-old son, who has a criminal history a mile long, moved out of his girlfriend's house after an argument and into mom's place. Then this morning, after an argument with mom, he moved out of her place and didn't come back. She has no idea where he's gone. She's positive "this will end badly" and "this is as bad as it gets", but can't give me a straight answer as to why.

Eventually, I call her ex-husband. He tells me he put up with similar incidents for 15 years before he left because he couldn't take the drama and hysteria anymore. He says she needs to be on meds, but won't take any.

I finally get out of there and put a BOLO out for the "missing" son. Mom calls me numerous times during the rest of my shift to find out what all the law enforcement agencies in the region are doing to find her son. I don't tell her "nothing".

The next morning she leaves me a voice mail saying that her son is in jail in a city not far from Cynicalville.

All's well that ends well.