Dear Citizen:
I guess your neighbor was concerned about the stuff you put out for the trash the other day, because he called us about it.
FYI: Officer Sarcastic and I dumped out the 6 full bottles of booze so some kid didn't get into it. But there was no way either of us was going to touch the inflatable sex doll. She's probably at the landfill by now, unless she found a new boyfriend on the way.
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