Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Crappie Flop

At briefing this morning, we were asked to watch for a certain stolen car. It was a distinctive make and model, and bore a distinctive personalized license plate. The thief was believed to be a known felon with several warrants. We are shown his mugshot, and I commit it to memory.

Later, as I'm driving through the lot of Dungheap Motel, here comes that car the other way. I get a good look at the driver as he cruises past me, and it's the face from the picture at briefing.The adrenalin surges and I try to play it cool so he doesn't flee. I keep him in view until he's out on the street, then I come barreling after him, calling out for back-up on the radio.

I get him stopped and call him out of the car at gunpoint. He complies, but he's twitching and jerking around. As I get him cuffed, he falls on the ground and continues wiggling and flailing and making grunting sounds. I ask him what's wrong, and he says, "I'm having a seizure!". I ask him several more questions, and he answers all of them appropriately. He informs me - mid-seizure, mind you - that he has a seizure disorder and is on meds for his seizure disorder but he doesn't have those meds with him and so he's now having a seizure right now.

I have an ambulance respond, and they transport him to the ER. He's in there for the time it takes Dr. St. Francis of Assisi to see him and clear him for jail (about 30 seconds), and we're off.

Nice try.


Grumpy, M.D. said...

I don't take his insurance, even if it's cash. Send him to Dr. Darth down the street.

Anonymous said...

Did he gulp air, foam and pee himelf for realism? And break a sweat after?

Anonymous said...

You should have tried the Vulcan grip!

Crazy RxMan said...

Just be glad he didn't start Twerking.

OldSquid said...

An 916- not every seizure is a grand mal.