Friday, February 20, 2015

I Don't Shake Hands With Clients

A couple of us were sent to investigate a suspicious vehicle outside an office building late one night. The car was parked out front with the trunk lid open, and the trunk was full of booze. There was no one around.

My partner and I went around back, where we noticed a light coming from a basement floor window. We carefully made our way to the window and peaked in. There was a guy leaned back in his desk chair, porn movie playing on his computer monitor, while he was.....enjoying the fruits of his labor.

Before we could do anything else, he finished, zipped up, and headed for the front door where we met him. We explained that we had been called about his car, and had checked the back of the building because we saw light back there.

Mr. Bates: " looked in the window?"

Officer Cynical: "Yup."

Mr. Bates: "And you saw?"

Officer Cynical: "Yup."

Mr. Bates: "Everything?"

Officer Cynical: "Yup."

Mr. Bates: (slumps to squatting position and puts face in hands) "Oh, my God!"

Officer Cynical: "Yup. Have a nice night and drive carefully."

I never did find out why the lid to his booze-stocked trunk was left open.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I am thankful we always come in after you secure the scene. A medic who appreciates what you do. It really is amazing what people are caught doing.

Anonymous said...

Surely you've heard this joke before:

A guy walks into a bar, sees a sign hanging over the bar that says:

Cheese Sandwich - $1 Hand Job - $10

The guy opens his wallet to remove his money and he walks up to the bar. Up walks a smokin' hot blonde bartender.

"Can I help you" she smiles, jutting her ample bust line forward.

The man leans over and whispers, "You know, I was wondering are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Why yes I am" she purrs, a smile spreading across her face.

"Well, then. Wash your hands and go fix me a cheese sandwich!"

Mad Jack said...

Serves him right.