Friday, August 1, 2014

Yet Another Satisfied Customer

Mr. Etoh: (falling-down drunk) "I gave my ID to some cop last night, and I want it back right now."

Officer Cynical: "Well, I wasn't working last night, so I don't have it."

Mr. Etoh: "You fucking guys - you're the same everywhere I go. I want my ID back right-fucking-now."

Officer Cynical: (checks with dispatch to find out who dealt with Mr. Etoh the night before) "OK, here's the name of the officer you talked to last night. He works tonight, so call him then and see if he has your ID."

Mr. Etoh: "You gotta be fucking kidding me. You motherfuckers are all alike. I gotta have that ID right now."

Officer Cynical: "Well, I don't have your ID. That officer might. You're going to have to call him tonight and see. That's the best I can do for you."

Mr. Etoh: "Goddammit, I hate you fucking guys. I hate cops. I hate every cop I ever dealt with. You're all alike and you think you're better than me."

Officer Sarcasm: (steps in between Etoh and me) "OK, how about this - you either shut the fuck up and walk away, or I'm taking you to jail right now."

Mr. Etoh: (makes big display of how exasperated he is) "Fuck you guys. I'm going home."

Officer Cynical: "Good choice."

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