Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman: Hair Club for Loonies

Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman, is partly bald. There is no hair forward of a coronal plane through his sideburns, then quite a bit of hair from the sideburns back. Now, I have no problem with baldness. It is rampant among the men in my family. But Strunk White has made the tactical error of trying fashion what hair he has left into something from a circus. It is parted in the middle, and combed back at 45-degree angles from the part, in what can only be described as side-by-side semipompadours. He appears to be sporting twin loaves of bread on his head, each with its own sideburn. Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman, apparently does not own a mirror. Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman, is a putz.