Friday, March 13, 2015

"Flame On!"

I get sent to yet another suicidal guy. He is sitting in a dumpster outside an apartment building, atop a pile of his belongings, which include a bunch of swords, daggers and other Ninja-type crap. He has emptied a 2-gallon can of gasoline over his head, and is threatening to set himself on fire.

The fire department is on scene, but they won't get close until the situation is secure (am I the only one who feels knee-deep in irony here?). Understandably, the ambulance crew also won't approach. My partner and I are on our own.

We finally talk this Human Torch wannabe out of the dumpster, but he now wants to go into the apartment building with a pack of matches in his hand. Not a chance. When he pauses to wipe his eyes because the gas fumes are stinging them, we pig-pile him and get him cuffed.

The ambulance crew strips him naked, wipes him down, and hauls him off. I have to work the rest of the night with the stench of gasoline on my uniform.

2 comments:

lbparker said...

Well, look at it this way: Any insect infestations from previous occupants of the back seat were probably killed by the fumes. . .

Angry Psychiatrist said...

This guy seemed semi serious and possibly a bit psychotic. As da fuzz you know most suicide calls are bullshit, especially bridge and building jumpers. 95 percent of them as my guestimate want the attention and drama and to be saved. It is a cry for help or a suicidal gesture as we used to call it.