Thursday, March 5, 2015

Mensa Candidate

We had a tip that this dipshit, who was an active burglar in our city and had a bunch of felony warrants, was staying at the crappiest motel in town. I drove over there with another cop on my shift to see if we could find him.

I figured the first thing to do was just check at the front desk and see if he was registered there. There was already a guy standing at the desk, so I lined up behind him to wait my turn. As I'm standing there, I notice he has his last name tattooed on the back of his neck. It is the very same long, unusual last name as the guy we're looking for. So, I just call the guy by his first name, and as he's turning around he says "Yeah?" before he realizes it's a cop standing there. We quickly arrest this genius, cuff him up, and take him outside.

Before he gets into my squad car, he gets searched. During the search I find syringes, a meth pipe, meth, pot, and various other niceties. Our boy is facing my squad car near the right rear wheel well during this process, and I take one step to my left to lay all this crap on my trunk lid. When I do, he takes off running out of the parking lot (still handcuffed behind his back), and tries to run across the street. Sadly, he loses his balance and sprawls face first in the street. We pick him up, haul him back to my car, and add the fleeing charge.

His explanation? "I had to try, didn't I?"

I guess.


Jay said...

Under the tattoo of his name did he also have "If found return to prison".

maureen kaech said...

Can't blame a guy for trying I guess!