No-Brainer

How do I know you're drunk enough for the ER? Well, you're sleeping in a 2-foot wide space between this crappy apartment building and the crumbling detached garage, and on top of broken glass shards, chunks of broken concrete, and piles of tree limbs. You're unable to stand up or, when we pull you to your feet, remain standing. And despite your alcohol-induced paraplegia, you want to fight with two cops. I am a trained observer, you know.