Thursday, December 4, 2014

Time Warp

Officer Cynical: "So, you want to report that your boyfriend stole your pain meds?"

Mrs. Gad: "Yes. This whole thing started back in 2010. Here - listen to this recording of him from back then. It's him threatening my bodyguard."

Officer Cynical: (hears Looney Tunes theme starting up in his head) "Well, I'm here to talk to you about this medication theft. When did that happen."

Mrs. Gad: "That was sometime last year. But we've been living together for 20 years, and he's done it lots of time and he has PTSD. So, if you listen to this you'll see what I mean."

Officer Cynical: "Please, ma'am. Let's try to focus on why I'm here. Tell me about your boyfriend stealing your meds."

Mrs. Gad: "He took my oxycodone last April. He's addicted to them and he huffs paint thinner and threatens my bodyguard and yells at me. This all started in Washington, D.C., and you can check with the police there."

Officer Cynical: "OK, well, I can't help you with any of that. Anything else you can tell me about this theft of your oxycodone?"

Mrs. Gad: "He's in prison now, and the prosecutors wanted me to call you and report this theft so they can add that to the charges. Call the state prosecutor and he'll tell you. Listen to this recording. It'll show you what kind of person he is and why he stole my meds, which I need for my back surgery from 2010."

Officer Cynical: "I have to go. Have a nice day."

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