Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Speed (intransitive verb) - to go or drive at excessive or illegal speed

Officer Cynical: "Sir, I'm stopping you because the speed limit in the school zone back there is 20 mph. You were doing 35."

Mr. Logical: "But I don't live around here, and I usually take that street over there (points one block over), and I'm not a speeder. I don't speed."

Officer Cynical: "Well, you were speeding this morning, and there are kids all over the place this time of morning."

Mr. Logical: "I know, but I'm telling you I'm not a speeder. I never speed."

Officer Cynical: "I can show you the lidar readout, if you'd like."

Mr. Logical: "I don't care what the lidar says. I'm not a speeder, and I....."

Officer Cynical: (interrupts) "Look, I'm not going to argue with you here. You can take the citation to court, if you feel it isn't fair."

Mr. Logical: "Fine. Can you hurry up though? I gotta be somewhere."


Anonymous said...

He's not a speeder, OC...he's a "drive really fast"-er.

Nana said...

I do hope you wrote his ticket really, really slowly.