The Dirty Half-Dozen

Several of us get sent to deal with a complainant calling from an industrial area. He tells us that some people beat him up, but he appears to have actually done a drunken face-plant. He says he "blacked out" from the booze, but does remember that it happened on the adjacent railroad tracks, so we go over there. He goes to the ER by ambulance, and later walks away without treatment or a police interview.

On the tracks, we deal with these sterling citizens:

A male who tries to flee on foot, and accidentally runs right to me. He has multiple felony warrants and goes to jail.

A female so drunk she can barely stand. She keeps saying she's related to somebody important. Goes to the ER by ambulance, then to detox.

Another female so drunk she can barely stand. She keeps showing me a small nick on her hand and repeats endlessly, "I'm diabetis. I'm diabetis. I'm diabetis." I manage to refrain from shoving her in front of an oncoming train. Goes to ER by ambulance, then to detox.

A male so drunk neither cops nor ambulance crew can rouse him. He's carried to an ambulance and taken to the ER. Still there the next day.

A male who's drunk, but able to walk and talk. Allowed to leave. Good, as we've temporarily exhausted all available squad cars and ambulances on this herd.