Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Danger, Will Robinson!

I'm exiting a convenience store, where I've just refilled the coffee cup. Before I can get out the door, a woman stops me. I immediately recognize the unmistakable signs that she is someone trying out for a role in a science fiction move. She has a constant look of surprise on her face, and it appears she has been experimenting with industrial-strength stage makeup, including painted-on eyebrows the size and shape of the St. Louis Gateway Arches.

Ms. Gollygee: "What was that cop car doing on the sidewalk?"

Officer Cynical: "Excuse me?"

Ms. Gollygee: "You know those new Dodge Charger cop cars? One of them was on the sidewalk."

Officer Cynical: "You mean just sitting there, like maybe running radar?"

Ms. Gollygee: "No. Driving down the sidewalk."

Officer Cynical: "And where was this?"

Ms. Gollygee: "I was downtown a little while ago, and I was walking by the cop building, and one of those new cop cars was driving right down the middle of the sidewalk."

Officer Cynical: "Um, OK. Well, this is the first I've heard about it."

Ms. Gollygee: "Wow, when I saw that cop car coming at me on the sidewalk, it really freaked me out."

Officer Cynical: "Yes, I can see that."

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