Thursday, September 10, 2015

Ode To Suicidal Types

Don't put a bullet
into your brain.
Don't throw yourself
under a train.
Don't close your garage
and start up your car.
Don't take 90 pills
from a medicine jar.
Don't act like a dope
and hang with a rope.
Don't make yourself dead
with a bag on your head.

And absolutely do NOT duct tape the trigger of your running chainsaw down, then lower your neck onto the whizzing blade out in your back yard where kids coming home from school can see you.

In fact, don't do any of this where your friends or family will find you and have to carry that mental image to their graves, or where I have to deal with you after you've been lying there percolating for like 6 weeks.

Yes, I've been on all these calls.


Laura said...

Had a patient once (paramedic here) that tied a piano tuning string from one tree, through the windows of his truck, and onto another tree. Sat at the wheel of the truck, gunned it, and partially (~80%) decapitated himself. Those wires are made of steel and will cut through most anything. Gruesome.

The most haunting suicide, out of the many I saw, was the 15 year old who hung himself in his mom's closet, door closed, for her to find.

Never forget those calls. The chainsaw sounds awful - those poor children.

lbparker said...

Whoa. How did you stay sane? I could never be a first responder, police or fire. You can never UN-see those images or UN-smell the stenches.

Anonymous said...

Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
Drugs cause cramp.
Gas smells awful,
Nooses give,
Guns aren't lawful -
Might as well live.

-Dorothy Parker