Conservation

Officer Cynical: "This is a citation for following too close."

Mr. Newton I: "Now, wait a minute! I was not following too close."

Officer Cynical: "Well, you ran into the back of that bus when he slowed down for the stopped traffic in front of him. I call that following too close."

Mr. Newton I: "Hey, how was I supposed to know he could stop on a dime and I couldn't?"

Officer Cynical: "I doubt the 15-ton bus stopped on a dime."

Mr. Newton I: "And my automatic brakes didn't work."

Officer Cynical: "You mean your ABS?"

Mr. Newton I: "Whatever. My car is totaled and the bus hardly got a scratch. I shouldn't be the one getting a ticket."

Officer Cynical: "I'm not citing the bus driver because you ran into the back of him."

Mr. Newton I: Well, you should.