Friday, October 10, 2014

Pills, Pills, Pills

Why is it that so many people I deal with are on prescribed medications for back problems? I hauled some suicidal dude to the ER today - young, not overweight, appeared to be in OK physical condition - but when asked by the nurse what meds he's on, sure enough, he starts reciting a list of pain meds for his back.

My most recent DUI was a walking disaster area, whose life consists of collecting a welfare check, consuming alcohol, and driving around until the cops catch him. I get him to jail and they ask him if he's on any prescribed medications. Yup, he takes "Flexeroll" for his chronic back pain. I bet it works wonders at a BAC of .25.

The guys that really impress me are the ones who have a whole laundry list of meds - all the -codones and -azepams and -ines - and they know both the trade names and the generic names, the dosages they're manufactured in, and the frequencies with which they're all supposed to be taken. It's like they're reading them off a chart. Really very impressive.

So, what medication could I take for the chronic pain in my ass all these people are giving me?


lbparker said...

Did Dr. Grumpy prescribe that for you? ;-)

Officer "Smith" said...

That'd be the replacement for Damitol, since the patent expired on that one.

BluenotesBb said...

and then there are the ones with multiple back fusions who take...nothing.

Go figure.

KD said...

One minor gripe with this post. Please don't assume that someone who "looks healthy" is health and isn't in pain. I do not take any prescription pain killers so I'm not here to defend that. I do have a chronic medical condition, however, that at times requires accommodation, like sitting in an aisle seat near a bathroom. I get to pre-board on Southwest for that reason and I'm sure to everyone else I look like some liar milking the system for a prime seat. Trust me, I'd rather have a crappy seat than this crappy disease.

Anonymous said...

Add pot in to that mix and you have Colorado. How many people don't realize it is illegal to be high and drive? Most.

Go get a cup of coffee and take your Fukitol like the rest of us who care about sober driving, yes, high driving is the same offense as drunk driving..