I went to two - count 'em - two physical domestics today. In both cases, we were absolutely sure that the male half had knocked around the female half, but neither female would tell us that, and neither female had any visible injuries. In short, we couldn't do a damned thing other than take a report.
The first guy was half in the bag, and kept glaring at the female. Even after we separated them, all she would say was that "something happened" - nothing more. When I pressed her for details, she just stood mute, shaking her head.
The second guy was this big ape with a bunch of military crap hanging on the wall and tattoos all over his arms and stuff. He just sat there, watching TV, while we tried to sort it out, with his jaws all clenched like maybe we'd be intimidated or something. Fail.
The funny thing is, as big and tough as these guys are, they never want to take on a cop. That's because they're basically great big pussies - total losers who are taking their frustrations for being such total losers out on someone who can't fight back. Try me once, junior. I'll tune you up like a cheap rental car. Asswipe.
6 comments:
That's got to be horribly frustrating. I hate that women still allow this to happen.
Some of them might be willing to take you on, if the penalties for doing so weren't so high.
They see no risk from beating on their wife, so they will do it more often
I used to work with DV victims, these wimps are masters at manipulating. So frustrating when the abused are manipulated into going back, even more frustrating that the ways the laws are written the court views DV less of a crime than assaulting a stranger.
Old and tired laws that need to be changed.
"I hate that women still allow this to happen."
Please don't blame the woman for her own abuse. There's a lot of information out there about how the abuse cycle works. For multiple reasons (terror at what will happen later, not having anywhere else to go, being so beaten down psychologically that she can't see any option for escape, etc.), DV victims often don't feel that they can press charges. That result is 100% the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim.
Jeanne MK
You're right, Jeanne MK. It was not in any way my intention to blame the woman.
It's nice to see an officer who cares enough to be frustrated by this.
I'm a DV survivor- one day, my ex soaked me with gasoline, locked me in a closet, and announced that he was going to burn the house down with me in it. About 6 hours later, police showed up because the neighbors finally called after hearing me scream for hours.
The first words out of the cop's mouth were "What on earth did you do to make your husband so angry?"
Alas, there are a lot of sexist men in this world, and some of them happen to be cops. It's really hard to tell a strange man about how you've been victimized when that man is armed, has authority over you, and may not be sympathetic.
These days, I volunteer for a program where DV victims, people with mental health and/or substance abuse issues discuss their negative police experiences with local law enforcement, with the goal of improving safety and quality of services for everyone involved.
It's a good program- like officer "what did you do to make your husband so angry?" now asks "did you have an argument? Do either of you have anger management issues?" instead. I'm very proud of him and hope that he'll be safer and better able to help the folks who need him.
It was kind of shocking how many officers needed this education!
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