Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman: We Interrupt This Program

Where I live, regularly scheduled programming is routinely interrupted whenever there is a cloud. It doesn't matter the severity of the weather, or where the weather is. Programs just stop without warning, and we then see Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman, standing behind a desk, staring into a computer monitor, with an expression on his face like he just stuck his finger in a light socket. Then he proceeds to describe every law of physics that applies to the weather that is occurring somewhere, and shows weather radar maps enlarged so much that you can see individual pixels.

This evening it happened again. There is a completely blue sky, and there hasn't been a drop of rain or strong wind in a week. However, my program suddenly stops, and there is Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman, wearing (I swear I'm not making this up) a gold shirt, brown and black checkered tie, and black and purple suspenders. No sport coat. And no fright wig, clown nose, or great big shoes.

He shows us a view from a "towercam" on the edge of town. There, in the next county, is a cloud. Strunk White, Idiot Weatherman, then says that they just want people to see this, they don't anticipate any severe weather from it, and they won't be updating us unless "things change".

My program finally comes back on. Mrs. Cynical manages to wrestle the gun from my hand before I put a bullet through my head.

2 comments:

Heidi said...

I can't decide which would piss me off more - missing part of my program because there's a cloud somewhere OR those clothes.

Jay said...

Strunk white weatherman has probably been the cause of many a viewers' sudden demise. Glad Mrs Cynical was there to lend a hand.