Monday, July 27, 2015

Dinner Bell

When I worked night shift, about half-way through the night a few of us would to meet at this pancake house for whatever meal you would call that. One night, I pulled my squad into a parking space a few rows back from the front of the place.

As I pulled into the space, I noticed that the guy in the driver's seat of the car next to me had his head back on the headrest, and his eyes closed. At that time of the morning, I figured he was passed-out drunk, so I walked over to check on him.

The driver's side window was open. I looked inside, only to see that he had no pants on and what appeared to be baby oil all over his hands. And elsewhere.

It turned out he wasn't asleep after all - just relaxing after his adventure. He was more than surprised to see a cop standing there when he opened his eyes. He proceeded to tell me he was waiting for some friends. No, he wasn't doing anything other than waiting, and his pants were off because he was hot. He had no explanation for the baby oil all over the place.

My partner was a little unhappy when I radioed him to come outside and help me deal with the guy. He had to leave his plate of pancakes behind to get cold.


Anonymous said...

"Before you come outside, ask the waitress if they have some towels!"

lbparker said...

Pardon my asking, OC, but I'm genuinely curious: It was always my understanding that the inside of a person's car is his personal property, same as his house, and he could be stark naked as long as he was inside the car. I take it the laws have changed over the years? Or was it because he was visible from the street, and didn't "draw the shades" to hide his activities?

Officer Cynical said...

Half-naked and masturbating in plain view to anyone walking by in a public access parking lot. I'm betting that's indecent exposure in every state in the union. Second offense is a felony here.

lbparker said...

Ok, thanks for the clarification. The guy really should have waited until he got home. Self-control issues... :-p