Thursday, July 16, 2015

Comedian

I have bad news for you, Mr. Lippiercing: When you tell me that you tried to drink yourself to death last weekend but "it didn't work", and you're gonna try it again this weekend, I'm obligated to consider that a suicidal statement. Now, the paramedics have to call Dr. St. Francis of Assisi, and he's gonna slap a psych hold on you. Then, you get to ride to the ER in the ambulance, whether you want to go or not, and security's gonna keep you there until the Doc says you can leave. Not so funny anymore, is it?

4 comments:

Laurie Chapman said...

Oh geeze, then the nursing staff gets to give you an injection of thiamine, keep bags of fluid running, and have you on seizure precautions due to your drinking habits, and ask you a battery of questions every 4 hours to determine your state of ETOH withdrawl. Also, depending on the state of your liver and your ammonia levels, we will be giving you rectal lactulose every six hours so you can poop out all the ammonia. All while you scream and yell at us because you can't leave. Good times.

Angry Psychiatrist said...

Then they call psychiatry for the moron. He has no interest in stopping drinking and that was bullshit that he tried to drink himself to death. He just likes to drink and he gets near death a time or two but i assure you it isnt purposeful. What the hell am I sposed to do after police drop him off? Admit him for a few days then discharge him knowing he wont go to rehab or AA and wont go to follow up unless he is tantalized with the possibility of scoring xanax or valium. Yeah. sounds good to me as long as his insurance will play along too lol

Anonymous said...

@ angry psychiatrist, are you saying suicide should be legal? are you saying the person knows "wrong" from "right"? Don't you have some magical pills that can make him think "good" instead of "bad" thoughts.
You are going to try to change his drug of choice.
You are going to prescribe some legal drugs you call medicine.
What a joke. Consume the correct drug to be happy.

Mark p.s.2 said...

Made a movie about drinking yourself to death. Leaving Las Vegas (1995) Stars: Nicolas Cage, Elisabeth Shue, Julian Sands