Friday, May 15, 2015


Signs you may be a drunk driver:

- You pass out at the wheel while waiting for the light to turn green. Bonus points if your head is resting on the horn, but that blaring sound doesn't wake you up.
- The people in the car behind you think you've had a stroke and call an ambulance.
- You keep passing out and slumping sideways in the driver's seat while Officer Cynical tries to talk to you.
- When Officer Cynical asks for your driver's license, you give him your library card.
- You have a Pepsi can in your cup holder, but it smells suspiciously like bourbon.
- It takes both Officer Cynical and Officer Sarcasm to hold you up when you try to exit your car.
- You keep grabbing onto Officer Cynical to keep from falling down during the sobriety tests.
- You give almost no breath sample on the portable breathalyzer, but still score over a .30.
- While on your way to jail in the back of a squad car, you keep giving Officer Cynical directions to your house.

1 comment:

lbparker said...

Yikes. I'm surprised he was conscious at all. What a waste of potential. I wonder what he could have been if he hadn't crawled into the bottle. We'll never know...