Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Press Hard, 3 Copies

Here are some rules for how not to get out of a speeding ticket:

1. Ask if I'm going to write you one, then when I say yes, tell me to "bring it on!"

2. Argue that the speed limit is 40 after I tell you it's 35 -
     a) I've been working this beat a long time; I know what the speed limits are.
     b) No, I won't go back and check, but you're welcome to do so when we're done here.
     c) You were going 55, so I don't care.

3. Refuse to give me some of the information I ask for to complete the citation.

4. Tell me your "big SUV is hard to keep under control going down a steep grade like that" -
     a) Your Ford Edge hardly qualifies as a "big SUV".
     b) It has a brake pedal.
     c) You were on the dead level, and not within 100 miles of a "steep grade".

4. Go over the citation with a fine-toothed comb, asking me questions about every stupid little thing, while I stand in the rain waiting for you to sign it.

Please, I beg of you, be true to your word and take it to court. I want to testify to the above and watch the judge's face get purple.

4 comments:

Mad Jack said...

I got off with a verbal warning from the Ohio State Highway Patrol for speeding.

Richard Lawson said...

First time I was pulled over for speeding, I was 17. The police officer told me to "Stop shaking, there's nothing to be afraid of." I was polite, gave her everything she asked for, and she let me off with a warning. I'll never forget that.

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy my jurisdiction didn't require the offender's signature.
--Bob the Former Cop

Anonymous said...

I have handled hundreds of speeding tickets. Arguing with the officer is always a stupid idea. Just be polite, speak as little as possible, admit nothing, accept the ticket, and then figure out how to deal with it.