Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Wasting My Time

I'm dispatched to an address where a 9-year-old boy won't get out of bed for school. I arrive to find Mom standing outside the apartment door. She is laughing.

OC: "You think this is funny?"

Mom: "No."

OC: "Well, you're laughing, so I just assumed. Tell me what's going on."

Mom explains that her 9-year-old son won't get up for school. She's done nothing other than tell him to do it once, and when he wouldn't she called the police.

I walk into the  kid's room, pull the covers off him, and tell him to get up, get dressed, and get ready school. He does.

I tell Mom - politely, mind you - that this is not - I repeat, not - a police matter. It is a parenting matter. When I ask her why she called the police, she says the SRO (school resource officer) at her son's school told her to. This is a real cop in an adjacent town, who works in the kid's school.

I call him and ask him what's up. He says the kid has been a problem, and he told mom to call the cops whenever the kid acts up. Good for him, since the kid doesn't live in his agency's jurisdiction. He then tells me to write a report on the incident so "it'll be on file".

I ask him if he's lost his mind. I tell him there's no way I'm writing a report on this. I tell him if he wants a report, he can write it himself. I tell him that his narrative can read "police officer in another jurisdiction wasted 30 minutes of high traffic accident time getting a child out of bed because his mom didn't want to be bothered". He says "OK". He knows damned good and well this is ridiculous. I hang up.

I'm pissed off for the rest of the day.


Renee said...

Dang, I was literally JUST wondering yesterday morning whether I could convince a cop to come do the exact same thing to my lazy bones son. I'm guessing your deed scared little Johnny straight and saved that momma a lot of future headaches!

Matt M said...

I expect that you used stronger words with that officer than you let on in this post. I could practically feel the injected curse words.

fallconsmate said...

as a mama to a lazy-ass son...

i always found the phrase "i'm going for the ice water" to swiftly make my son exit the bed, and get himself dressed and to the bus stop on time.

that school resource officer should be ashamed of himself!

Anonymous said...

Nine? 9,and you can't get his ass out of bed? What is he 6'4" 260 lbs? Be a parent, grab the covers, then kick his ass for pulling that little stunt.

Mad Jack said...

I ask him if he's lost his mind.

It is at this point that I choked on my late morning bourbon. I really needed a good laugh this morning - thanks.

This kind of thing is priceless. I could make stories like this up, but to know that it actually happens in real life has given me an entirely new and twisted perception of reality.