Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Smooth Move, Ex-Lax

Even though you're only in your early 20s, you already have an extensive criminal history. You're a registered sex offender, and you have a reputation of being a prick with police. Didn't you realize that when you made our area's Most Wanted list for your latest stupidity, we were going to be all over your dumb ass? Cops love going after the bigger fish. It's kinda like a contest to see who can catch them.

I bet it was a real eye opener to learn that cops had shown up at your mom's house, your dad's house, your girlfriend's house, your girlfriend's mom's house, your employer's house, and pretty much everywhere else you've been laying your head since those warrants were issued.

And that's why last night you folded up like a cheap lawn chair and turned yourself in. We're all laughing at you, by the way.


Anonymous said...

I know this is kind of O/T but a friend an I were discussing appropriate behavior when being stopped for a traffic violation. I said pull over in a safe area. Get your DL, proof of Insurance, and registration out. Walk back to the officer. She said make the officer remove the documents from the glovebox and stay in the car. In your experience, what do you prefer a citizen to do?

jbt369 said...

I used to work in a jail. We'd get people who would come into the parking lot and ask deputies if they could check on the warrant status for "a friend of mine". We'd say, "Have your friend drop by our main window with picture ID, and we'll let them know right away."

No one ever did that.

jbt369 said...

Dear Anonymous,

Do not ever walk back to the officer. In fact, do not get out of the car without asking first.

Dear Friend of Anonymous,

Make the cop did through your glove box? Seriously?

Crazy RxMan said...

"Folded up like a cheap lawn chair."

Now that's pure poetry.