I get dispatched to see a guy who wants to report vandalism to his motorcycle. I meet up with him at his apartment, and he tells me some kids in the apartment building pushed his motorcycle over and damaged it. OK, let's go take a look.
We go out to the parking lot and he shows me the motorcycle. One whole side of the bike is destroyed. Foot peg busted off, handgrip torn up, lots of cosmetic damage - all obviously the result of a crash.
Officer Cynical: "So, when did you crash your bike?"
Pinnochio: "What do you mean?"
Officer Cynical: "There's no way in hell this damage came from a kid pushing your bike over. This bike has been laid down.
Pinnochio: "..."
Officer Cynical: "I don't think a little kid could even push this bike over in the first place. And if he did, you might have a scratch or a dent or two. But this thing is practically totaled."
Pinnochio: "..."
Officer Cynical: "You crashed this thing, and you're trying to blame the damage on someone else so you can collect insurance or sue. Does that sound about right?"
Pinnochio: "..."
Officer Cynical: "You know, it's against city and state law to file a false police report. You can do jail or prison time. Are you sure this is the way you want to go? Because I'll do it, then investigate to the very best of my ability. What do you want to do?"
Pinnochio: "..."
Officer Cynical: "Good choice. Have a nice day."
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